My Lost Watch

This week hasn’t been the best as my clumsiness has been going into overdrive ranging from dropping my laptop, my dinner, and my drinks amongst other Mr Bean esc incidents. However none more so than then Wednesday, which resulted in dilemma as I popped to the toilet for a number 1 (I’m calling it a number 1 as I am mentally five) standing as you do plotting world domination in your head because peeing is a pretty mundane necessity, when my watch falls of my wrist into the toilet. This resulted in master class in how to swear and then staring at my watch trying to come up with some form of Baldric style plan but my watch was water resistance so I had time.

Now this particular situation left me with three options, all of which would not result in me keeping the watch. The first option is to just leave it there and walk away but then again someone is bound to use that toilet and come out saying “who’s watch is in the toilet” at which point everyone will look at me because they know it could only be from the Mr Clumsy (and it took me all day to shake off the trauma of the incident from face......i did like that watch).

Secondly, I flush the toilet but the even the slightest possibility of my watch blocking the toilet and flooding the loo was too much to bear, even though the chances of it were pretty slim, as it was Casio and not some b rate rappers watch, which is in fact an alarm clock glued to strap, but what do they care they are too busy learning how to do the slant walk and arse hang out.

Thirdly, man up and get the watch out and that’s just what I did. Just like some sort of Rocky montage before he goes into the fight I pumped myself toilet brush in hand managed to manoeuvre it out like I was playing a game of operation, flipping it into the waiting pile of tissue I put on the floor to catch it. I then threw it into the bin and walked back to my desk slightly traumatised and disappointed my favourite watch gone forever.

When I got back to my desk few people could tell something had happened or I must have had some sort of almighty curry but my face gave it away and so did I after very little probing. So now I’m watch-less and being laughed at but oh well, especially as I milked it a bit when the girlfriend laughed at me so she ordered me a pizza which came to more than that piece of shit watch anyway.